This week has been a really testing time for me. Those close to me will know I’ve had a lot going on in my home life which has had me struggling to keep it together and maintain my usual composure. However this week something in me snapped. I handed in my resignation at NEXT.
I’ve been struggling with depression for the last 2 months and have barely been able to do anything, which made the usual struggles of working in a very physical environment ten times harder. There is a lot of cattiness and gossiping in the workplace, as there’s far more females than males working in our team, and one in particular finds it necessary to blame me for everything that goes wrong in the shifts. Normally I have no issue brushing off these claims as I know I have done nothing wrong, and the truth will always come out, however in recent weeks it’s been nothing but thing, after thing, after thing, and I can’t deal with it at the moment. There is no worse feeling than working your hardest to be the best member of the team you can be, and constantly having someone spread lies about you, just because they can’t compete, it shouldn’t bother me, and yet it does. A lot. Combine that with Luke’s troubles with his eyes and the constant pain he is in, along with my Nan’s arthritis which on some days leaves her unable to get downstairs, and it’s a lot to try and deal with. I was working 5-6 days a week, and on my days off trying to fit in everything; seeing my Mum, tidying the house, getting to doctors/hospital appointments, doing the food shopping and still finding time to get my commissions finished. If I could drive it probably wouldn’t have been as bad, but I was having to do it all to the schedule of the buses. I couldn’t do it. So I’ve decided that I will take some time out, away from work to focus on my family, as they come before everything else.
I like working at NEXT. Excluding the one or two who lie and cause trouble to hide their own failings, we have a brilliant team, and I’ve met some wonderful people there who I am proud to call my friends. Providing my health and family’s well being has improved in the time, I plan to return there in time for the summer sale.
So thank you to all of you who have been patient and stuck with me through all of this, it means more than you know. Here’s hoping everything starts to calm down from here on.